Happy holidays. Buy me something.

Go Speed Racer Go!

This is my speed from home. What is yours?

Insert title here.

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

 

Baaaaaaaaaah. I’m a sheep. Or Eric would call me a goat. Whatever. I just want to know which one I missed. Dang. I’m suprised I passed since I HATED science. With a passion.

I may already be a winner!

FROM THE E-MAIL PROMOTIONS MANAGER,
PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
MICROSOFT WORD CORPORATION, SPAIN

You mean that there is a whole corporation that just sells one Microsoft product? I didn’t know that!

Calle San Maria 12,
Madrid 28840
Spain.
ENTRY NO: MSW-L/200-26937
APPROVAL NO: 2005MJL-01
ELECTRONIC MAIL AWARD INFORMATION
ATTENTION:PRIZE WINNER.
We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today of the winners of the MICROSOFT WORD E-MAIL MEGAJACKPOT PROGRAMS held on 18th of March 2006.Your Company or your personal e-mail address attached to Primo number 20-01-2005-02MSW, with Catch number S/N-00168 drew the Quick numbers 887-13-865-37-10-83, and consequently won in the first category.

of course. I always win in the first category. Cuz, I’ve got the mad luck, yo.

You have therefore been approved for a Bonded pay out of FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FIVE THOUSAND EUROS(EURO455,000.00)in cash credited to file NO: MSW-L/200-26937. This is from total prize money of Ten Million Euros shared among international winners in this category.

Wow, Bonded. Thats kinda kinky.

All participants were selected through our Microsoft computer ballot system drawn form 21,000 names, 3,000 names from each continent, as part of International “E-MAIL” Promotions Program, which is conducted once in every four years for our prominent MS WORD users all over the world,and for the continued use of E-mail.

Once every 4 years? Let me think. I started using email back in 1995. On a VAX/VMS. I missed out on winning two other times? I must not be as lucky as I thought. Thank god I didn’t play russian roulette with that dude a few minutes ago.

We are sorry to let you know that our site is still under construction, as we are updating our site and our windows 2005.

Now that doesn’t suprise me. At all. I mean hey, its the Microsoft Word Corporation. And where can I get a copy of Windows2005?

Your fund has been deposited in an escrow account with our affiliate Bank here in Spain, and insured with your File NO: MSW-L/200-26937 and your E-mail address. Please note that, you are to contact us via email as we are promoting the use of E-mail, You have the right to call the bank, as we will provide you with the necessary details on how to claim your Prize.

Whew. I thought I’d have to take your word for it.
You are to keep your Entry number and Approval number from the public, until you have been processed and your money remitted to your designated account.We hope with your prize, you will be happy to promote the use of E-mail and the use of MS WORD.
Of course! I’ll send that email out to everyone using my copy of Windows2005 as soon as I find the send button. I bet that bastard paperclip hid my send button.
But CRAP! I just gave everyone my information on the interwebs! WhatamIgonnado?!?!!1!one!

To claim your winning prize, you must first contact your claims agent,Frontline Security Company by email for processing and remittance of your prize money to you.Below is their Contact:
Contact Person:James Paco
EMAIL: frontlinesecom@netscape.net

Frontline Security Company? Don’t they make that anti-flea stuff I see on the TV? Would that work on my Guinea Pigs? Though they don’t have fleas, I’m SURE they could use the preventative maintainence.

He is to help you in claiming your due prize. Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than the 20th of April, 2006.
All funds not claimed on or before the fixed date will be penalized accordingly.
NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your Entry and Approvalnumbers in all correspondences with your claims officer.Any winner below the age of 18years is automatically disqualified.
Faithfully,
Mrs. Teresa Lopez.
For MS WORD CORPORATION
SPAIN.

Dear Teresa, thanks but no thanks. Asshat.

Just because I wear glasses, I can’t be William F’ing Shatner

Your results:
You are Geordi LaForge

Geordi LaForge 65% James T. Kirk (Captain) 65% Will Riker 60% Jean-Luc Picard 55% Uhura 50% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 50% Chekov 45% Deanna Troi 45% Data 27% Beverly Crusher 25% Mr. Scott 25% Spock 17% Worf 15% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 10% Mr. Sulu 0%

You work well with others and often fix problems quickly. Your romantic relationships are often bungled.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

Fantastic Four?!?!

Per whats-his-face’s request.

Four jobs that I’ve had

• Radio Announcer
• Webmaster for a College
• Teacher
• Racquet Center Manager

Four movies I can watch over and over

• Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan
• Airplane!
• Sgt. Bilko
• Spaceballs

Four places I have lived

• Sioux City, IA
• Grand Island, NE
• Sloan, IA
• Moville, IA

From longest to shortest. I lived in Sioux City most of my life.
Four TV shows I like to watch

• Star Trek: The Next Generation
• Good Eats
• Whose Line Is It Anyway? (Both the old and new versions)
• Charmed

Funny thing? My TiVo only records ONE of those shows.
Four foods that I like

• Steak
• Pizza
• Rice Stick Noodles
• Tastees (A very rare treat that can be found in my hometown, or in Lincoln, NE)

Freakin Pansies – I can actually come up with four foods and not have to resort to beverages.

Four websites I visit daily

• Google
• Fark
• Justin’s Blog
• Eric’s Blog

The Latter two? I consider them two of my best online friends (probably IRL if I lived closer to them, but cest le vie)

Four things I want to do before I die

• Get COMPLETELY out of debt
• Travel Abroad
• Live in a large city
• Work in radio again